I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize