you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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