you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
