Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
