he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
