drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
