Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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