I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
