Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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