Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
