I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
