so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
