dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
