Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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