Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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