Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
