No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
