so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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