As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
