it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
