life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
