you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
