I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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