he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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