Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
