We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Me too!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
