so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
