then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
