what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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