i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We don't watch enough power rangers
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
