So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
