the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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