We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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