just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
