just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
