yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
