I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
