My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
whose parrot is this?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
