Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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