Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize