Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.

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(812): View more from Indiana

You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.

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(239): View more from Florida

Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.

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(909): View more from California

Every concussion has its silver lining

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(253): View more from Washington

don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?

(435): View more from Utah

Yeah.

(609): View more from New Jersey

I was spiderman.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Try me, you 5'5 gremlin

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