you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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