i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
