Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
