Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So squirting runs in the family.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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