Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We are all done wearing pants today
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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