Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
