dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
