The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
