its not stalking. its research.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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