dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
